Why not shave a pumpkin instead of that handsome face of yours? Better yet, carve yourself a BEARD FACE pumpkin. That way, if some mischievous hooligans smash it on the street, it's just a tribute to its masculinity. It will have inspired manliness so strong and powerful that it was truly impossible NOT to smash. We would insert a "Smashing Pumpkins" joke here, but we'll let you just imagine how witty it would've been instead. We're giving you so much already.
Speaking of which, so that you can carve your pumpkin up right, today we'll be giving you a template to stick on your pumpkin and carve out so that you too can have your very own pumpkin of extreme masculinity. :D>
For your Beard Face Pumpkin, you will need:
A knife, for the carving.
A bag, for the insides.
A spoon/ hand, for the scooping out of the insides.
Tape, for holding the template in place.
A printer, for printing out the marvelous man-template we made you for your man-pumpkin.
Send us pictures of any bearded pumpkins you make to our email at email@example.com and we'll post the best right here on our site! :)> Is the template we made too easy for your master pumpkin carving skills? Go check out our t-shirt designs for a more difficult challenge. We bet you that Pirate Beard would look pretty burly on a pumpkin.
For large, burly pumpkins:
For Medium pun'kins:
For baby pumpkins that are still very, very manly: